Rebuilding

While cleaning the other day I came across a little booklet that I have had for the past three and a half years. It is a booklet to one month of a year long bible study called "Our Journey", the March edition to be precise. It was my mothers, she had taken to giving me the booklets when she was done with them so I would have a regular bible study to do while I lived in Fresno. The others I have gotten rid of, but this one I could not.

The signifigance of this booklet comes from one day in it, the fourteenth, which was a Tuesday in the year of 2006. That day I had received a phone call with some terrible news. With that phone call I felt part of my world shatter, my heart break, and a darkness settle over me.

My mom was visiting and had her bible study with her. When I arrived home from school, several hours early, she had just read that day's study, and oddly enough, it was relevant to what had just happened.

This particular day talks about rebuilding. When trials come into our lives and our world is shattered, it talks about picking up the pieces and rebuilding our lives. This was an essential key part to helping me cope, so that I may be there for the people closer to the situation than I was.

I just read that day again. I will admit, I cannot read it without crying. There is still an emptiness that I feel whenever I remember that day, but when I read the verses from that day, the feelings of emptiness are eased. One is part of my life verse, Habakkuk 3:17-19. The other is from 1 Peter, and that is the verse I share now.

1 Peter 1:6-7
In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith---more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire---may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

Unworthy

Unworthy I Stand

My love for You, O Lord,

Is an unending sea.

With depths so great,

The bottom cannot be seen.

Unworthy of Your love, I stand,

Fully enveloped in Your arms.

Despite my pride,

My vanity, my judging nature,

You take me in.

In lack of faith You show Yourself,

In fear You are calming.

Though I stand a sinner,

Unworthy of Your grace,

Unworthy of Your love,

You give it freely.

Thank You will never be enough,

My appreciation could never be fully shown.

Always unworthy will I stand,

Enveloped in Your arms of love.

The Lord is amazing. We are all sinners, all unworthy of His grace and His love, yet He chooses to give it. We deserve an eternity in hell, yet the Lord loves us so much He has given us a way to heaven. Never will we be worthy of His grace, yet it rains down on us. Blessed be His name. Blessed be the Lord our God.

Faith in Christ

Two Roads

Two roads were lain in front of me,
And I must choose which one I will take.
One is dark and filled with stones and thorns,
But is also filled with love and purity.
The other is smooth and filled with light and fun,
But is laden with sin and hatred.
Two roads were lain in front of me,
And I must choose which one I will take.

Two roads. Looking at it the choices are simple. Do I take the rocky path or the smooth path? Maybe we should know some stuff about the paths before we choose. The way this was written was to explain the rocky path is the path of Chrisianity. It may be hard, you may run into some tough stuff, such as persecution, imprisonment, death, but at the end of the path is love, warmth. At the end of the path is Christ.

The smooth path would be the more tmepting path. You can see down it, the road is smooth, there is fun, drugs, alcohol, other enjoyments. But that path is the path of sin. The path of destruction. No matter how much "fun" you have, it will only lead to ruin and an eternity of pain and despair.

The challenge is, which path will you choose? Will you be willing to take the rocky path? Are you willing to stand with Christ? Or will you choose the easy path, the path of sin?

I have chosen my path, which one will you choose?

When God Says No

I've been reading "Grace for the Moment" by Max Lucado. I was looking ahead, looking at some of the titles and this one caught my eye. It is from November 22nd.

When God Says No
"Whoever comes to me will never be hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."
-John 6:35

"There are times when the on e thing you want is the one thing you never get. . . .
You pray and wait.
No answer.
You pray and wait.
May I ask a very important question? What if God says no?
What if the request is delayed or even denied? When God says no to you, how will you respond? If God says, "I've given you my grace, and that is enough," will you be content?
Content. That's the word. A state of heart in which you would be at peace if God gave you nothing more than he already has."

I had gone to school for court reporting starting in January 2006. It was something I enjoyed very much, it was the highlight of living in Fresno for me, I loved my classes and my teachers. Then the Lord brought me back to Hume. I was not happy about this, I admit it, but every time I tried to do something else, the Lord told me "No." I had to change my attitude toward God and my circumstances. Finally I found a contentment I had not felt up here before.

For the past couple of years I have tried, and failed, to go back to school. Every time I take steps toward that goal, the Lord, once again, says "No." I will admit that I have been quite unhappy about this answer, for I love to study and learn. Then I read this message from "Grace for the Moment" and it made me think. I cannot expect God to do as I wish, that is limiting God. I cannot say no to what He has, even if He can say no to me. I know that whatever I may have planned for myself, God's plan is greater. All I have to do is be patient and listen to Him, let Him guide me.

Just a thought.

Love Is

Love is letting go of someone when you don't want to.

Love is watching the person you love loving someone else.

Love is more than a feeling, it is an emotion, it is your being.

Love is simple and complex.

Love is the most amazing thing you will ever feel.

Love is also the hardest thing you will ever feel.

Friends

One of the best things in life, aside from God and family, is friends. Not fair-weather friends, I mean real, will always be there for you friends. They are such a blessing, I have no idea what I would do without them. They are people I can laugh with (or at on occasion), vent to, cry with, anything, and they can have the same in return. I don't have many close friends, but those I do have I am truly grateful for, I love them all so much.

Lord, thank You for these amazing people in my life, I am undeserving of them. I am completely undeserving of Your blessings, yet You give them abundantly.

Verses

The past couple of weeks have been a stretch for me. I won't go into detail, but I will say God has been really stretching me. I was thinking about all of this today when I remembered something. Every time I enter a period like this in my life there are certain Bible verses that seem to pop up, but one in particular.

I remember a couple of years ago when I was living in Fresno, a stretching time as well. Tragedy struck a family I was very close to, whom I consider my family. I remember receiving the phone call about it and I remember the emotions I felt, sadness, anger, bitterness, depression. My mom was visiting at the time and had brought the little Bible study booklet she was going through. That day's topic was very much relevant to the situation at hand, and the Bible verse was the one that had popped up during other crises before. It was this:

Habakkuk 3:17-19
Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls-
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will Joy in the God of my salvation.
The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer's feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

Through a conversation I was having with a friend just a couple of days ago I was reminded of this verse, it is my life verse and yet I have not given it much thought over the past couple of weeks. Also, our conversation made me remember a couple of others that have been helpful.

Jeremiah 33:3
"Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and mighty things which you do not know."

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

It has been a very trying and stretching couple of weeks, but a great growing period. I am very grateful for these times, even if not at the time, because they really do make me stop and reevaluate what I am doing and show me what to do to become closer to God.

Giving it up to God

It has been amazing watching God work this summer, both in the lives of campers and staff, as well as in my own life. I have been presented with two amazing opportunities and must make a choice, one, two, or neither. As a result, I have been stressed out for the better part of a week. Then this morning I sat down to do my Bible study. I have been going through Isaiah and intended to continue that today. I opened my Bible and started turning the pages in chunks to reach my desired spot. On the second turn of pages the Bible opened to Proverbs. There was a piece of paper in it, a piece I put in Lord knows when, so I looked at it. All the paper said was "Proverbs 3:5-6" so what did I do? I read Proverbs 3:5-6. It was amazing, just what I needed to read. I felt like God was telling me "this is what you need to be doing, Margaret. You need to give up everything to Me, not just some. You've only been meeting Me half way, now give it all up." Well, I didn't end up reading Isaiah this morning, but I am no longer stressing about the major decisions in my life. They are God's now and He will show me where to go.

God's Work

It is amazing how God works. A couple of months ago it seemed like everything was going wrong, I didn't know what to do, I had lost control of my life and everything in it. I prayed and I finally gave everything up to God. I told Him that he has my life and He is in control. Soon after that things got better. I now feel like I have so much to live for, and what's best is, I feel like God is really leading me. I feel like He has shown me something and just said "this is what I have for you, Margaret. This is why you're here, this is where I want you". It was the most amazing experience of my life and I am totally stoked about it, and kinda scared.

Summer

It's pretty interesting, I think, how people get so excited about summer, yet stressed at the same time. I am absolutely thrilled about summer starting, getting to meet the new staff members and being in only one part of camp instead of all of it. At the same time, I'm stressed out. I have no idea who is going to be working under me, how we'll get along, and what is going to happen through the summer, plus all the work needing to be done to get ready for summer. If I had to choose a season I preferred, it wouldn't be summer, instead it would be either spring or fall. But if I had to choose a season of camp I prefer, it would be summer. As hectic as it can get, and with all the pranks and such campers like to play, I love it. Why? Because each and every week hundreds of people come to Christ. All right, yes, people come to Christ throughout the entire year, but there's something in seeing so many stand at once. I love Hume because it makes a difference. No matter where you work here, whether in Program, SS, Food Service, Admin, or any others, you still have a part in what happens each and every week when the speakers who come up challenge those kids. This is what makes my job worthwhile.

Seasons of Life

Seasons come and go, flowers blooming, trees fading. But what of our seasons, the seasons of our lives? As the seasons of the year go by we take appropriate measures to face them, the heat of summer, the cold of winter, or the rains of fall and spring. So how do we prepare for our own seasons? New chapters are being written in our lives often, whether it's moving to a new town or starting a new job, or meeting new people, or saying goodbye to a loved one, sometimes forever. How do we deal with the seasons of our lives? I find it easiest to sit and pray, to leave it to God. He knows what's coming, He is never surprised. Ask God for His guidance and help and you can face every season of your life, though it may not be easy, but you will always have Him by your side, guiding you through.

Just a thought.

Trusting God

Yesterday I would have given anything to just be able to crawl into a hole and die. I had received some bad news and was very depressed over it. I was praying last night and was reminded of my life verse, Habakkuk 3:17-19 (which I'll not put here as it is so long), and I was reminded that no matter what happens, no matter how bad things get, I can call on the Lord and He will be there for me. I'm still not particularly thrilled about everything that happened yesterday, but I feel so much better knowing that God will help me through it, I just need to trust in Him.

Faith

Why is it that what God wants from us most happens to be the hardest thing to give? Our faith. Why is it we can say we have all the faith in God, until we hit a problem. As soon as things go wrong, isn't it in our nature to lose faith? To try to handle things ourselves, rather than hand them up to God, having faith that He will handle them?

Now, I admit I have problems in this department myself. When things get hard, my first instinct is to handle the situation myself. I will try to find every crack to examine, trying to get myself out of whatever it is I've gotten into. Let's just say, this isn't a good idea. I have fallen flat on my face more often than I would like to admit, because I didn't want to let God help me. Not just that I didn't WANT to let God help me, but I didn't BELIEVE He would. I didn't have FAITH in His abilities to save me, get me out of whatever I was in.

Some of the things we have trouble handing to God are small, virtually nothing (at least to Him). So here's the question: If we can't have faith God will take care of the small things, how can we have faith in the big things?

Just a thought.

Rejoice

When things in life are going wonderfully we are joyful. But, when something goes wrong, suddenly everything is dark and dreary. Shouldn't we be joyful in that too? Yeah, I know, it's not easy to be joyful when you recieve bad news, or slam you fingers in a door, but shouldn't we always try to be joyful, and to rejoice in life, regardless of what is happening? "Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice" Shouldn't we be thinking that? Sometimes bad and depressing things happen, but regardless of that, shouldn't we rejoice in the Lord?

Just a thought.

My Sister

So there is this amazing little (well, not so little) person in my life. Her name is Tiffany and she is my little sister. Tiff is, as far as people go, my everything. I absolutely adore her, more than pretty much anything, other than Christ our Savior. She is a firey red-head with spirit and gumption. She is able to make me laugh when I am down. Whenever anything goes wrong she is always there. We've shared many a time together. We've shared laughs, we've shared tears. I absolutely love her more than anything on this earth.

Different People

It's amazing, really, how different people are. We are all made of the same stuff, and yet we are totally different. Just look at how many different races of people there are, the different colors of our skin, our different languages. It truly amazes me, because after the initial skin-deep appearances, we are all the same. We're all made by God, and all in His image. And yet, we all are unique. We all have different personalities, different likes and dislikes, different views. I must say, the human race really fascinates me.